withdrawals from antidepressants and help from compliments

So I’ve been reading a book called “The Four Hour Workweek” which is about escaping the 9-5 lifestyle and eradicating the deferred life plan, old ideas of retirement that just don’t work anymore and joining what is called the “NR”, the new rich, people who are abundant in time and mobility. I love the book and the ideas it contains. So at the end of each chapter the Author Tim Ferris included action steps that are intended to expand your sphere of comfort. The last one i did was for 2 days to look every person you talk to in the eye, (blinking so that you don’t look like a psychopath), and I did that one and this one called for asking for phone numbers of the opposite sex. This frightened me but it seemed important to do so I started last Sunday by asking for my first number. I made sure she was cute because that was part of my line and there needed to be a degree of honesty involved for me to be o.k. with it.The first answer came from a nice looking employee of a bagel store in town.”Thank you very much but I am in a very, very serious relationship”. I didn’t try anymore until yesterday after work. I was driving home and practicing Ho’ oponopono when i was inspired to stop at a mini mall that contained a Ross. The second girl was a very good looking blond who was from the bay area and I only know that because that was her reason for not giving me her number. I don’t actually have to get the number I just need to ask so i was already wanting to take off as she explained that she lived too far away, and she went as far as to ask my name and introduce herself.The third one was working in a pizza parlour across the parking lot and said it was creepy but she still gave me her email address and name and said “look me up in facebook”. Today after work was the third and she said it was very flattering but that she was married. The fourth was a brunette in the grocery store and I felt ok about doing this because the previous one i had to chase out to the parking lot. This was the best and easiest one yet, She had a boyfriend but also said that I had “a great smile”. Feeling better already and really wanting to hit the three in 5 minute mark I hit Kmart where I asked the first woman that fell in the “cute” category. She was pumping some lotion out of a lotion dispenser and I was quite entertained to see that she continued as i asked for her number. This was the fifth and the easiest yet. The 2nd and 3rd I actually had to shake hands with and I was dismayed to find that my hand was shaking. Today at work I even practiced holding my hand stiff so that it wouldn’t shake. I didn’t have to shake the last one’s hand but if it came up I would have been prepared. It actually was much easier than the rest and I then realized I had just asked for the number of three women and the amazing thing is that I was sober. I drove off with a feeling of accomplishment and completion.
Now for those of you that think this was dishonest or off color in some way let me tell you what Ive been
going through along the lines of antidepressant withdrawal for the last month and a half. I stopped taking Cymbalta 6 weeks ago and the withdrawal symptoms (which are too many to name here) come in waves and lets just say they suck.In fact if you are thinking about taking an anti-depressant I very strongly urge you to look into the side effects (usually starting with depression), and how easy or difficult it is to wean off them. There are forums and support groups all over the web filled full of people who are going through hell on earth trying to get off these drugs doctors prescribe so frequently. But at any rate I have been going through this for awhile and I noticed that when I received these compliments from these women I didn’t even know,(especially the last one who said that I was cute and that it would have been a yes if she didn’t have a boyfriend) I FELT RELIEF. Has it been so long that Ive been on one form of drug or another that Ive forgotten what a compliment felt like? I don’t know. But I felt better and whats more I noticed that all 5 women smiled really big and were definitely blushing. I think i made them feel real good, or at least it seemed like it.
So what I’m learning from this experience is that its not enough to meditate all day, I actually have to take baby steps at least toward the things I want to actually get anywhere. By doing two things a day to get myself closer to where I want to be I have accomplished many times more this week than I have in the previous few months. I also am learning how powerful S.I.T.H. through Ho’ oponopono is for it is the process that has opened me up to all this action. And Last but not least I am finding out how much I love win win situations. It seems that the best stuff in life is always a win win for everybody involved.For in fact we are all one.

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